I got proof to the courts but they do not care. Also I had a garnishment of held in limbo for 15 months where it was not applied to my child support for that entire time. I had to track it sown to get credit and when I did they didnt refund my of being over paid they just kept taking and I was quite a bit ahead.
I have paid over in child support in 14 years and about for depositions and another for lawyers. Worat thing is my son wont see most of that money, he wont have a college fund because I still have to get him clothes that fit and school supplies.
If child support didnt exist then the parent that wanted to be there for the kid would be. Instead the kids are living paychecks and bartering tools for the other parent. Also If the female has the right to anything then the male should have equal right period.
So abortion or adoption should also be equal rights and mothers should not be able to abort or adopt out or refuse to tell father they are pregnant. If we are trying to be fair and equal. Well first off it sounds like this opinion is coming from a mother i may be wrong but thats how it sounds.
An second if someones co worker ends up with the women you love are you going to remain at that job no you are going to asked to be moved to a different department which may impact what you make or you find a different job. But they dont care. My wife has all these programs she has to do an they say she still has to go find work so there saying ahes not allowed to sleep cause she has appoinments everyday of the week an then her daughter on the weekends.
She had her permit suspended for oweing a few months when we were paying it all on time until my injury. N they gave us a week to make a payment an have it show up in there system when it takes a couple weeks to process it which sounds like they dont care if she makes the payment or not. She told them due to all her disabilities she had to apply for ssi an they dont care they say she still has to work even though alot of professionals told her that she cant.
Child support dont care about anyone they have no hearts they just want to be cruel to random people. Im pretty sure they target the weak cause they know someone else would find a way out or they know someone in child support an they let them go. Child support an child support court are all biaist. An the court system in general is biaist. It is not about bitterness…… The curry court system is one sided. I left my relationship asking time ago withtwo little ones.
I did not work for 15 years. So I went to school and got a job. Allot of the people in this situation get Taniff and food stamps etc on to of the child support and do not want to work. Jobs are not a guarantee and neither is what you earn. Modification is there for that reason. But the current laws assuming just because you made Women these days claim they are equal to a man.
My boyfriends kids have lived with us for 2 years now and he is still paying child support for them. We requested a modification in writing and never got a response.
A modification was requested again after his company shut down and he was laid off and we still got no response. They did make sure to take child-support out of his unemployment though. Finally when the three your time it was up we got paperwork saying we could request a modification it took four months before we got any response after the request and now even though the mother said the kids do not live with her he is having to prove that they live with him before they will change anything.
I read many comments at random and most were from a dads perspective. In my case, I am owed 30k plus in child support from the last 10 plus years. It was set at about 25 percent of monthly gross wages for the minimum wage back when the support order was put in place back 10 years ago or so. The father has done everything in his power to avoid paying from jobs under the table to living with his mother to not filing taxes.
When he figured how to game the system to avoid paying he went along and had more daughters 3 more kids with 2 different woman. So now in the rare event that he does call his kid its only to make false promises and to gloat about his trips with the new girlfriend to Las Vegas and how he just sued someone and won and got compensated for that.
If you are wondering well does the system take from that and give it back to his child, the answer is no. I call child support and they say that they can not do anything about it. So here I am barely being able to make ends meet and I agree something is definitely wrong with the system.
If guys can go around have kids all over the place without facing consequences for their actions then yeah something should be done about that. Maybe what should change is her will power to not have intercourse without protection. Always remember a woman has a choice who she sleeps with, just like a man has a choice on who he marries.
So it sounds as though women should think of the possibilities before exploring their sexuality. I fully agree with that man. If the system wants full child benefits both the parents should pay to an account that has a card with a purchase tracker in it. What one parent pays the other pays half to equal that payment.
That will both benefit the child and parents and stop these money hungry people from using children as bait so if I have to pay per month she has to pay to per month. This is the best way in my personal opinion. This makes no sense? Both women and men are guilty of being that way.
Women are not perfect and men are not perfect and as long as the courts are biased nothing will ever change. I know a case where the father just deside not to present himself over and over again to child support office appointments for revision. But goes to Vegas and Cancun all the time.. While a minor is taking care of another minor home alone at night.. I thank heavens did not have to deal with the child support drama.
Absolutely right.. I did the same thing. I have no time running in and out of offices and court rooms and arguing about what he should or should not be doing..
I have a life to live. Whenever he feels the need to put the daddy hat on. I allow him. The rule is if you are 15min late without contacting me. We areout the door planning another activity. We move on.. You can as well, you have more choice in the matter and have noone to blame but yourself.
As a woman you have many non pemanent options for BC first off, guy get condoms that can be tampered with by people searching for a paycheck,not saying you did this but many do.
Second only you had the opportunity to walk away from responsibility. Women can choose abortion , adoption or selling the kid basically. Males get no choice in what you do. You could even put kids up for adoption when they are older.
You could even not tell the guy til the kid is 17ish then get him for back child support. What needs to happen is both parents should be gicen equal time and both should be forced to pay child support to the child not to the custodial parent. It should be equal on both parties and the same across the board no matter the income. My brother in law gets less then a month for twins and i pay a month for one kid. How is this fair to my niece and nephew or to my other two children one of which is special needs.
A woman can do anything a man can do, right? One point that no one has raised thus far is the universal right to parent a child. The child benefits greatly from the growth in both parents, agreements and disagreements. Again, there are exceptions, however, when parental rights are determined by the government, we do not live in a democracy—more like the dark ages.
This is a basic civil right. When you find yourself in the judicial system, especially men of color, you are experiencing discrimination and institutional racism. You are being conspired against as soon as you enter the court room.
Know that, your child in not a ward of any state, it is yours. The law presumes that people are incapable of determining right from wrong. Martin and Mandella were jailed for being right. Black slaver, Jim Crowe and apartheid were laws as well. This system is so bad! I still have two more years and last year I lost my employment and because I was out of work for 3 months it went up to 4K and now NYS child support is asking for double what I was paying every two weeks. And their reason is because they want it to be paid before the child hits 21 years old.
Why is NYS asking so much? Someone in charge needs to change the system. Dads everywhere are getting screwed over and treated badly! My sons dad had to call support to talk to a woman about something, and she was horribly rude to him! I emailed her, and yelled at her. I said he was a great dad and does everything he needed to. And to not disrespect him. I got an apology, but still. Because hes a guy he needs to be treated badly?!? I think not!
And noted so when the dads want more time, it should be awarded. My last point.. Be there for the kids or dont be there at all. I explained to them but they rudely told me that I had to pay to avoid getting a letter for court. Fast forward to today and I get a lien on my bank account I was counting on some money that we were given as donation to use it for bills and gas but they just took it all.
Now I regret not making police reports or reporting her. I just feel overwhelmed right now I truly feel like giving up in life. It just seems the system wants to see you fail and be poor. I agree, an employ of ours is a great father, he was a teen father and has always paid child support but never received parent time, and the courts completely ignored his request to having parent time.
For his child support he is a child care worker, again he requested parent time with his 1st born and the court a woman judge told him he should be paying more child support He is already paying more then the required formula states should be paid so the judge told him to get a real job a woman would have never been told that!
When did raising children become unreal. Mindi, thank you for standing up for fathers. Unfortunately, most people who work in these support collections units are operating on a political agenda and abuse their positions to achieve those ends. What business it is of the states to decide how and where your child is raised. I should have married an Omish woman! My story?
My ex left me in for a female soldier when he was in iraq and had gotten her pregnant. I struggled for 8 years with 3 daughters to avoid as much drama as possible, never sued him, he took me to court to get a reduction after he had not paid the first year a dime.
So his attorney started a witholding which ended when he quit his job in , and in he had convinced all three that I was evil and caused all of jis financial difficulties. I used to give him money for food on his weekends so that he would not cancel on them.
His wife harrassed me nonstop all hours of the night, because she was a bartender who needed to emotionally abuse someone and I was her favorite victim. They bribed my kids with concerts, alcohol, promoted promiscuity, made me look like ai was completely against them having any fun, when I was a considerably lax parent, and knew to pick my battles.
My ex was behind 26k, got emergency ex parte custody, and ultimately sole custody after getting a default judgement when he did not notify me of custody hearing, and used completely fabricated income ammounts, causing me to lose my house, the only home my 5 year old had ever known at the time, my job, and very worst I lost any relationship that I had with my girls, he got discretion on visitation , and the man has not allowed us to see them at all, these people are criminals with records, and I was a mail carrier.
This bogus system pits male against female, so we battle eachother instead of the clearly evil court system that we should have demolished a long time ago. My kids have no future now thanks to the childrens right tp choose to cause all kinds of drama and litigation when they should be focusing on school and being kids. They used to call cps on me once a year, and when tha never worked, they waited for the paternal grandma to get a settlement from a minor car wreck so that they could essentially purchase my daughters, who became dropouts and my oldest a teenaged mom.
The first step is recognizing that this is a Parental Rights issue and not a Fathers Rights issue. They are winning because they successfully pit men against women and vice versa, when there are good parents of every gender, every sexual orientation that are being denied their constitutional rights because apparently civil law is above the law, and we need to fight them together, as parents, not fathers or mothers.
Statistically the only difference in who wins custody has become the number of men who dont battle for it, the actual custody battles that take place display numbers that show this issue is about family, about capitalism, and about a government that has no concern for the livlihood of our children, of their future, of our grandkids future, and our society is essentially doomed because of the denial of the manevolence of our powers that be.
They are turning our children into disrespectful, hateful, unappreciative, entitled, narcissitic young adults who lack empathy, and have learned to lie cheat and steal as long as it is a means to their end, without remorse, without morals, standards, or integrity. They are taught that any form of punishment is child abuse of some form, and that they can forever blame their short-comings in life upon their childhood, shrowded with falsehoods and depictions of even the most blatent displays of affectionate parenting as some form of neglect or abuse, tainting their entire upbringing, that could have been fairly peaceful and normal had the number one focus been on raising the children to the best of our ability as co-parents.
I could literally go on all day. Our government has failed us. It is time to ACT. Read most all of these comments. And the article. STOP acting like attorneys care. These evil jerks know exactly what they are doing. That is why they fight shared parenting legislation!? The state? The state uses federal matching funds from teh federal taxpayer to balance their budgets. There is too much money to be made in respect to how it is. They are not killing their cash cows. DV and Divorce agencies, feminists and their tax payer pork, state agencies and their matching funds, attorneys and judges with their artificially propped up legal fees, and single mothers who benefit from it all.
This is considered modern-day slavery. Remember boys never love them , or impregnate them , and under no circumstances shall you sign the marriage certificate. And remember this a few minutes of sexual gratification is not worth 18 years of monthly child support payments. I did not read all of the comments but one think in terms article got my attention that is incorrect.
For the next 8 years while he is in there most of his support responsibilities got erased. He put himself there by his own bad choices he should not be rewarded by lowering his,support to almost zero. They have a study on some program while incarcerated and after release that support obligations are better being paid…. The system is so messed up. While my husband works his butt off and pays over 1, Something in the system needs to change.
I take care of my daughter. I have one child and is paying child support of a month. Yes I have a good job. But I had to move out of my home. And wont be able to really have my own place because my child support is so high. Helping out financially with anything she needed.
Because the mother got mad one day from an argument she filed. Mind you the whole time after my daughter was born. She wouldnt even let me come see my daughter. I went to court she didnt bring any paystubs showing she only made that much.
Then she brought in a hand written note that anyone could of wrote. Now mind you everytime I got paid I asked her if she need money for anything. She said no. So that red flag number two in court. But her word of mouth and a note someone wrote for her granted me to pay amln extra a month on top of the base child support. I would of got in all sorts of trouble. And I do the right thing for my child. So what should we do about the mothers who dont want to succeed in life and live of child support.
I think it should be a different system set up for father that showed they want to be in their child life but low life mothers dont allow it.
And I have no criminal record. I have a great job. I want to be in my daughters life. Yes we have dead beat dads but we also have dads that try. Sorry man.
I just want to take a moment to thank you for your post. This hits home for me by far. I have three children that I was able to watch come into this world. I have always been a strong provider and have always helped my family as best as possible while we were a unit. That is all beside the point. I had to move in with family and my closest relative lives close to an hour from my children. What should we be doing about these situations? If I could afford to drive the extra couple hours to see my kids during the week I would but there is not enough time in a day or gas money in the bank to support this.
Parents who pay child support and make less than 70, a year will simply not make it on their own. They will have to find a roommate or family to live with to cover costs. Sad truth and when I think about it all….
I just say its not forever and when my kids are grown they will learn about this from myself and hopefully not put themselves in this position. Life for one is too expensive seeing as most people have to sell portions of their life for wages to buy necessities let alone supporting children in an era of bartering where common folk start off upside down. It defies logic on so many levels Why is the non-custodial parent responsible for paying child support any more than the custodial parent?
And why is it based on income? A kid can only eat so much or wear so many clothes. Not one parent paying all of it including paying back the State for welfare and food stamps the the other parent spent and ate.
Making one family suffer so lawyers and judges can pad their pockets and the other parent can sit on their butt is criminal. Good luck man. This woman has NO Empathy for the father of her children. And will trash mouth to the children about their father. How can you live with that!
You really know how to pick em. Morally and ethically maybe but the government should not be mandating how or if someone raises their kid. No wonder your ex got himself locked up. Added bonus for him, it sure pissed you off. The system is broken! The judge ruled that he should keep paying the same amount with o income and he now had an arearage for the time it took to get the court date. The arearage is now paid and we have only 6 more mos before the child turns 19 — thank God.
This is what you call corruption, plain and simple, It is sad really. The kids are the ones who suffer from this unjust law. The more men on the system the more money the States gets from the federal Government. The matching dollars was supposed to help States pay for tracking down dead beat dads, but now every dad that gets a divorce is a dead beat. It is a multi billion dollar a year enterprise that the States have going turning fathers into Child Support Slaves for Federal Dollars.
Once last comment, what is sad also is so many women would use this unjust system. Get an attorney. Child support may be established, but custody and visitation may not be.
Legally, if no court order is in place, you could keep your child and have her come after you for custody. Get an attorney asap. The policies, while necessary themselves, would probably benefit from learning how to adapt with the times in order to maintain a level of flexibility based on case-by-case scenarios.
Child Support laws are outdated and need to change. Too many good fathers are being forced into poverty over this ridiculous system. In my state the father is subject to license suspension, penalties and fines, and jail time if the support amount is not current. Meaning you will go to jail, not see your kids, and the support amount will accrue with interest while you are in jail.
So when you actually do get out, you are in debt, and the cycle continues. The guidelines need to be taken back to the drawing board. Women have the advantage right off the bat. After weighing her options, the female may choose abortion. In stark contrast, the unwed father has no options. Thus, he must rely on the decisions of the female to determine his future.
The putative father does not have the luxury, after the fact of conception, to decide that he is not ready for fatherhood.
I thank God for the CS system, because without it my ex would not voluntarily give me one red cent for the support of our 2 boys. Seems actually having to care for his boys for an entire week, every other week is too much to bear for him.
Imagine having to come home from work to cook dinner, clean, help with homework and those science projects take some effort and spend a little quality time with the kids before heading to bed, then waking up to do it all over again the next day!!! Oh, The Horror. However, his contribution is used strictly for food do you know how much teenaged boys eat? I am not a perfect parent, but I could never treat my kids this way. So do I feel sorry for him because he was jailed for non compliance with his job searches or when his tax refund is snatched when he finally did get a job and given to me to satisfy his arrears?
I take that money and put it in my retirement fund with no shame and no regrets. As a father, I pay support for my three and now two daughters and always have…and also contributed what I could for Birthdays, Xmas school cloths and whatever else they needed.
And when they were small kept them 3 days a week! Saying that I still think the system is broken and outdated. New laws need to be passed in child support. Deadbeat dads are not the norm at all nowadays. The government should not have to get involved because you married the wrong guy.
I can not believe as veteran and as a tax payer that money is going to these resources for people who can not get their stuff together. As a women I feel that we have lost touch as what it means to be truly independent and not rely on people who will let you down.
Remember you chose who you wanted to mate with you were not force like in some countries where human rights do not exist. In the state of Wisconsin, if the mother has primary placement of he child and receives ANY kind of state aid, for her, the child in question, or children with another man, child support is required to be paid.
In my situation, we had an agreement for over 6 years for a set amount. SInce the family of 6 receives so much state aid, I am now being taken back to court to pay twice the original agreed upon amount, even though in front of the Agency lawyer and judge the mother says she does not need me to pay more to support her other children.
The System is beyond broken. So the effort put into digging out of college debt, working extra hours, and occasionally a second job, all are now being used against me, as ALL of my income is used to calculate my child support obligation for my one and only child regardless of what we as the parents want and agree to.
Divorce game plan for women. Get Divorced. Find a new man that owns a business. Quit Job. Work for new husband for free. Have a child with new husband. Collect tons of child support.
Laugh Maniacally. Divorce is not a gameplan for women. I bet if I asked her why she divorced you it would make complete sense, so stop acting the victim. Move on with your life, be a good father, and pay your support. I guarantee you child support will not consider these extra mouths to feed when calculating your contribution to your first obligation.
I really find it concerning that so many women are misinformed about the way child support works. It leads to not only frustration on their end but also a unwarranted animosity toward men. The body politic is responsible for most of the frustration but limits the information to its own benefit. Setting us against each other and gaining revenue in the process. Did you know they also charge the non-custodial parent 2. Your judgement obviously stinks! Yes, he did say child support was a game plan for women and in his case that might be true.
You obviously Madea bad choice in men because I know fathers in almost every state in this country would jump at that opportunity if for no other reason than to be with their children more than every other week and a couple of hours on Wednesday in the off week. I am recently separated, I left my wife last year. She kept filling my daughters head with nonsense about me leaving her so I was having to try to explain that I would never leave her I just left her mother. I stopped going around her house and was calling to speak to my daughter in which I kept saying to her lets make an arrangement for me to support her, she went off the hook and started cursing me out so I returned some of her words then 2 weeks later she served me with a protection order.
The courts tried to do that to me to. You need to appeal the decision The so-called judge cannot deprive you of your kid without due process.
Meaning, he has to prove you are a threat to your kid. I got my kids back after about a month. Hang in there and good luck. What can i do if my mom didnt take care of me from and she collected child support and now im 28 i watch my 60 year old dad struggle to keep paying his arrears to her still today?
My paprents got divorce about 5 years ago and up until 3 years ago, my mother had custody. My parents used to live in the same city but 3 years ago, my mother moved five hours away and there has been some issues.
Long story short: she made us move with her, which became an issue between my sister and I with her. She gave custody to my father, but she also made him continue paying child support. We see her once a month days each month usually. Sometimes we only see her once every two months. Is this legal? What your mother is doing is illegal. If she is collecting support on you and your sister while your father has custody, that is fraudulent. If your father is paying alimony to your mother, then no.
The system is wrong. I have two daughters with two different mothers. She lives in a drug and gang ravaged area in Covington Ky. I have had constant visitation with my oldest daughter for 6 years now and have always made child support payments the whole time. What is that??!!
I sold my car and I walk with a back pack everywhere. I live about 25 miles outside of Cincinnati Ohio. A lot of walking. I have to beg churches for food assistance I can only receive once a week. There are no soup kitchens around here. I am literally having to take food from my work to eat. Thank god I work at a restaurant. But my days off… not much to eat. This system is entirely corrupt… we have to change this. METOO, free the nipple. I believe in equal rights but for every gender, race or religion.
We all bleed red and eat bread. Especially in our justice system that preaches equal rights. Therefore I think we should get together and start out by creating an email template where each of us can tell a small story of our complications and struggles as men who are doing their best to be good fathers yet are being held back by child support enforcement, and create an emailing list to each of our states representatives, then move up the later to committees and senate and congress and all of their aides and secretaries and literally devour their email lists with our movement and make them know that we will not be ignored any longer.
We will not be demonized for our struggles. We will not lie down without a fight. Now what I do. Get a lawyer, build a case, and fight for custody my brotha. You said something about his room and the mattress. Make sure anything she says can and will be used against her in the court of law. Everyone on this bored is complaining, and rightfully so. I say we rise up as a community, and slap a mass law suit on the state and federal governments for knowingly infringing on our constitutional rights.
We should not feel criminalized because our spouses cheated on us, or villanized us, or whatever they did. Please email me at robert. When you look at it…. The one whom receives Child Support receives it Tax Free.
To the government this is a net zero impact. To the payee it hurts. To the receiver it is awesome. To the Government — they get theirs. Mary Ramos I feel your pain. I know there are genuinely some men who want their children and are great fathers, and I applaud and support them in this battle. Believe me, they are NOT the primary caregivers of the kids when they do have them. If the dad was the only income and moved out a stay st home mom will not be making the same money going back into the work force.
The CSS program is not authorized to help with custody, visitation or property settlements. The following information can help the CSS locate noncustodial parents: Name Date of birth Social Security number Address Employer Vehicle ownership information Paternity Establishment Establishing a legal father for a child helps the child receive certain rights such as: Possible knowledge of the father's family medical history Social Security benefits Death and insurance benefits Military benefits A child support order cannot be established for a child who is born to unmarried parents unless the alleged father acknowledges paternity or is proven the father.
The most convenient time for parents to establish paternity for their child is in the hospital when the child is born. The father must be present and provide identification to have his name placed on the Affidavit of Parentage.
When this document is filed with Vital Records, both parents' names are recorded on the birth certificate. Genetic DNA testing is recommended if there are doubts regarding the paternity of the child. Blood or tissue samples may be used for testing. Test results may provide peace of mind to parents who establish paternity voluntarily. Results may be presented as evidence in legal proceedings to establish paternity. Establishment of Support Obligations A legal order must be established that specifies the amount of support to be paid for the benefit of a child.
The successful establishment of a support order depends upon several critical areas: Locating the Noncustodial Parent. Determining the financial needs of the child.
Identifying what he or she can pay. These guidelines are based on the needs of the child ren and on the ability of parents to pay. The Guidelines are used to compute a child support obligation based on the combined gross income of the custodial parent and NCP.
Either the NCP can agree voluntarily to the amount of support or the obligation can be established through court action. Cannon Blvd. For assistance: Call Email sydillon cabarruscounty. Child Support Services Federal law requires all states to establish programs to establish and collect child support to ensure that both parents support their children.
Establishment of court-ordered child support Collection of child support Enforcement of support and medical insurance Modification of child support orders The Child Support program is not authorized to help with such issues as custody visitation or property settlements. Customer Service Center Human Services. Find Services. Report Abuse and Neglect.
Administration of the Emergency Rental Assistance Program. Emergency Rental Assistance Program.
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